Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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