hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
