I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize