Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
