I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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