if you like me you must not know who I am
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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