i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
