I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
