Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
