Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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