i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Still dying that you shit outside
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
