Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
