I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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