He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
