love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
