Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
