i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
