Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
