Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
