I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
