Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
