mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
