I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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