i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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