i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
