Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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