we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
