it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
