Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
