should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
