I should be sponsored by Trojan
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
