You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
