You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize