this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
