only if we run a train.
done.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
