perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
