i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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