I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
