Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
