Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
