So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
