So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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