I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
