Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
