omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
