You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
