hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
