Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
