I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
