If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pants are for mortals
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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