Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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