come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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