It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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