My room smells like vodka and shame
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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