it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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