This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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