Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
