So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize