I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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